Review of Silent Hunter 5: Battle of the Atlantic

Quick review:
Don’t buy it. It’s utter crap.

Slightly longer rant:
What a piece of elephant dung. This is the last time I ever buy a game from UBI soft ever. They have done these sorts of stunts before and this was the last straw, go join Electronic Arts in the shame corner. I bought this game on steam because I really loved Silent Hunter 3 (and I’m quite good at it if I might brag). Well, the similarities between Silent Hunter 3 and 5 is they both are games about submarines. And that’s about it. Silent Hunter 5 is a bug infested frustrating random event generator of horror. The graphics are great, sure. When it’s not flickering out of existence, casting opposite shadows randomly when moving the camera around and that sort of stuff. The sound isn’t much better. You move about the ship and somehow they managed to miss the most common bug of ones character making an insane stepdance sound. The lord of the fucking riverdance occuring neatly on a sine curve every minute.

And hey, it’s a submarine game. I know, let’s man the deckgun to shoot down THE HOVERING FUCKING MERCHANTS flying around in the air. Oh, I forgot. I can’t man the deckgun because IT’S BUGGED! What a ripoff. There is no way they missed bugs as these in these numbers. It was an intentional scam. But I must admit some hilarity ensued when my crew hanged around on top of my submarine keeping lookout while I was submerged. Nothing beats that Pirates of the Caribbean feeling. And then it keeps going with integral game mechanics that randomly stops working, stuff disappearing between saves, etc.

To sum it up the state of this game is somewhere in pre-alpha. And hey, UBI soft also installs some hefty DRM for you to make sure you enjoy this experience to the max. Sometimes crackers fixes the bugs for the lols when they crack copy protections. I wonder if they have done the same with this game? Maybe UBI-soft should ask them for help.

I gave up and concluded that surely there must have been some hickup in the patching and went to the official forums to get the latest patch. Lo and behold, UBI soft came out on the forums and officially stated thay they ABANDONED THE GAME. They will never fix it. This game came out in 2010. Why is Steam selling this 2013?

Silent Hunter 4 was also a disappointment but at least it wasn’t so buggy as to be classified as a scam.

My advice to you who wants to play a good submarine simulator. Go get Silent Hunter 3 instead. Install Grey Wolves pack and all the mods. Have realism on max. It’s really good. Enjoy.

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